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No support at daycare
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No support at daycare

[Replies: 4]
Last Post Nov 11, 2009 8:27 AM by: DeeDee's Mum
DeeDee's Mum
 
DeeDee's Mum
Posts: 4
Registered: 10/6/09

Re: No support at daycare

Nov 11, 2009 8:27 AM
Update 2:

We have found a new caregiver!

DH and I are very pleased- we are confident that this caregiver is going to work with us and provide excellent, loving care to our little guy.

To the last poster, sugie111372: I can imagine that it must have been a very awkward situation for you, trying to train a child that really could not communicate well with you and clearly was not ready. If the parents are in denial about where their child is developmentally, it can make things pretty tough.

To give you some idea of where our son is at: he speaks in full sentences. 75%+ of his verbal communication is clearly understandable. He is capable of pulling up/down his pants (sometimes with a little help for "up") He's showing many signs of readiness: staying dry for long periods (even through naps/overnight sometimes), lots of interest in the potty and no fear about sitting on the toilet or flushing. He walks, runs, climbs and does the stairs without help- getting onto the potty isn't a problem with a little supervision and a stool.
Since he had been actively and independently asking us to go potty- we were confident he was letting us know he was ready to try.

I believe in waiting until your child is ready. We didn't want to approach this process in a way that would put any pressure on him. He will do it in his own time. The biggest problem for us was that when that window of opportunity opened- we were willing to support him but the caregiver wasn't. Truly sad.

We weren't asking her to initiate anything- even to start asking him regularly. (Since we don't ask him, he was asking us...) Our efforts to put him in Pull-ups were to make her (and his) life easier in the event he did choose to ask her.

Needless to say, when the Pull-ups themselves provoked the reaction they did and I got the lecture about her previously undisclosed philosophy on the subject- it became painfully clear that he was not in a place where his needs would be met.

The happy ending: DS will start in his new daycare at the end of this month. We found someone truly special- a girlfriend of mine has had her DS with this provider for 3 yrs+ and she just happened to have an opening. Her view on training is to support the child and work with the family to ensure a consistent approach. She has agreed to share what is working (or not) for them at daycare and hopes that we will do the same. Now that's how it should be!

I look foward to being able to post again one day soon to share more stories about DS' progress as he conquers this new challenge!

Thanks to all for the support! If any of you out there have similiar stories, I'd love to hear them and hear about how you're resolving them.
sugie111372
 
sugie111372
Posts: 1
Registered: 10/31/09

Re: No support at daycare

Oct 31, 2009 11:28 AM
I can see where you would be upset about that. She should be more cooperative. And about making the mess, well that is part of potty training! I don't believe the pull-ups are coming off of him! They are not made that big. But I wanted to put on here too that I am a stay-at-home mom that keeps 3 kids at my house. 2 of them are 2-year-olds. Something similar is happening to me now. BUT...this kid REALLY is not ready. She JUST turned 2 on October 17. Her parents are freaking out and thinking that she needs to be potty trained NOW. X-( She does not talk much at all. I asked her if she has to go potty and she just looks at me with a far out look on her face and grunts like, "ugh". That's the ONLY reply I get. A couple of months ago, they bought her potty to my house and everything, I gave it all I got to try to get her to use the potty. I would take her EVERY 10-15 minutes and I would sit in the bathroom with her for about 10 mins at the time. I did that for about 5 hours and then just gave up. She peed in her panties RIGHT AFTER we got up from the potty. She peed ONE TIME in the potty for me. I have a 6 1/2 yr old daughter. I potty trained her at 2 1/2. She turned 3 in April and I started potty training her that Jan before her 3rd b-day. It was a breeze! She was very easy to communicate with. I could ask her if she had to go and she would say yes or no. I didn't have to sit in the bathroom with her constantly. She was ready. I waited until she was ready. Well, these people tell me that at their house, she uses the potty all the time and that she even goes to the bathroom by herself and pulls her pull-up down and uses the potty. I tried to get her to do all that here and FORGET IT! She will not do it! Honestly, I think they are not telling me the truth. She is still in that baby-like stage. The other 2 yr old I keep is one month older than her. His mom says she is not worrying about potty training right now, that she is waiting until HE is ready. Well, I told her about the situation that I was going through with this little girl and she told me that the little girl is not ready. This is her 3rd child. She should know by now. I just believe that if you do it before they are ready, you are wasting time and using ALOT of frustration that is NOT necessary!!!! But I couldn't believe how similar our situation was, the difference is, this girl really isn't ready. If they can't talk and communicate, how in the heck are you supposed to teach them??? Oh, and I also have a 2 yr old son of my own. So needless to say I have a lively house when I have 3 2 yr olds at one time! I hope you have luck with your situation...just be cosistent and I hope that you find someone to keep him that is willing to help you out. You have to have help with it. When they are ready, ALL need to be involved, even the childcare provider. ;)
Dad of 4
 
Dad of 4
Posts: 3
Registered: 10/25/09

Re: No support at daycare

Oct 30, 2009 3:04 PM
Good idea. That woman shouldn't be around young children much less providing day care services. While your son might not be ready to transition to pullups after one weekend, her total lack of support in helping you potty train him is inexcusable. Good luck with the new day care. Let us know how it goes.
DeeDee's Mum
 
DeeDee's Mum
Posts: 4
Registered: 10/6/09

Re: No support at daycare

Oct 30, 2009 2:28 PM
Update: We decided to take him out of this daycare and are actively searching for a new provider.
DeeDee's Mum
 
DeeDee's Mum
Posts: 4
Registered: 10/6/09

No support at daycare

Oct 6, 2009 5:28 PM
My son is 2 1/2. We've been very laid back about the potty process, taking our cues from him. He is comfortable with the idea of the potty and for quite a while has been sitting on it in the evening before bathtime, sometimes a pee, sometimes not. This past weekend, he began asking my husband and I to use the potty and was pretty consistent about it through the weekend. He did his first poop- a big achievement! :-D

On Monday morning we arrived at his (in-home) daycare, with a Pull-Up on and ready to go in case he decided to ask there as well. I told the sitter he was wearing a Pull-Up and sent extras and explained that he'd been very consistent with us over the weekend so we thought it would be good to be prepared in case he asked. She said no problem.

When I picked him up that afternoon she told me not to send him in Pull-Ups again. :O I asked, "Why?" She said that he is skinny, so it fell off him when he pooped (funny, it didn't do that to us over the weekend- and he asked us for potty).... she said it was too messy.

This is the part of most concern:

She proceeded to tell me that frankly, my son was not ready for potty training at her house. She will not provide or use a potty chair, just an insert seat on a regular toilet. The bathroom in her house is on the second floor and so she said he must be able to:

-go upstairs alone
-pull his pants down alone
-get up onto the toilet
-wipe himself clean
-wash his hands

WITHOUT ANY HELP- before she will consider that he is ready to be trained.

Hmmmmm. Wouldn't this mean he is ALREADY trained? Does anyone else find this to be totally unsupportive and ridiculous? My husband and I are so furious that we are thinking about taking our son out of her care. X-(