Message Boards

Pull-Ups® Forum

  » 

Forums

  » 

Expert Potty Training Advice

  » 

"Holding it" for hours!
Welcome Guest  —  No members and 3 guests online
Expert Potty Training Advice
Submit your potty training questions to Potty Training Partners Jen Singer, Bernie Dorsey and Dr. Jennifer Shu. They will do their best to respond to questions right here in the expert forum, but unfortunately will not be able to respond to every question submitted.

*Please note: The Potty Training Partners are only available to answer questions through this online forum and will not respond to questions submitted through their personal Web sites.

"Holding it" for hours!

[Replies: 3]
Last Post Jun 17, 2009 11:33 AM by: AGBMom
AGBMom
 
AGBMom
Posts: 2
Registered: 6/17/09

Re: "Holding it" for hours!

Jun 17, 2009 11:33 AM
My daughter is 10 years old now and has no bowel movement issues. When she was younger we had a problem with constipation, or at least that is what the doctors thought it was. It started about the time we switched to milk, so about 1 year, maybe 1 ½. We started limiting the amount of dairy and it helped a little in her struggle to have a bowel movement. Because it was such a struggle for her I think she started holding it or putting it off which only made the matter worse. It progressively got worse and at one point when she was almost 5 she went 10 days without a bowel movement, although she needed to have one and we could tell it was hurting. She had held it for days before, but this was the longest. We took her to the doctor, but there wasn’t much they could do put digitally remove it which would have been traumatic both for her and us.

Here is what did work for us:

Between the age of 2 and 4 we would give her a tablespoon of mineral oil orally any time she went more than 24 hours without a bowel movement and we would do this each day until she went. If she went 3 – 4 days without we would also give her a suppository. This was traumatic for her and emotional for us, but usually worked. We probably only had to do this once every 3 to 4 months. We usually also did an extra day of the oil just to win back her courage that the next bm would be easier.

The nice thing about the mineral oil is that it softened the stool and she could mentally understand that the oil would help it “slip out”, we told her she would just have to give a little push and the oil would help it slip out. Don’t know if that was the case, but it gave her courage to push rather then hold.

After the stint when she was 5 we also got some advice about using Benefiber and the Doctor suggested potty training. We informed him that she was potty trained and he explained to us that we needed to have her sit on the toilet at the same time everyday for 15 minutes or until she had a bowel movement. If there was a time of day she typically had one use that otherwise pick a time and go with it. She did not have to have the bowel movement, but she had to patiently sit and thus train her body and herself to have a bm every day.

The Benefiber worked wonders. It is tasteless and no grit. You can put it in anything. We put it in her juice or chocolate milk. We would only put it in her juice once a day. I tried it first to see what it tasted like. I put it in my unsweetened iced tea and it had absolutely no flavor. If you mix it and then wait a few minutes there is also no grit and so you can’t tell at all! I don’t think she even knew we were using it for months.

It worked well enough that we that we stopped the mineral oil and slowly over the next year we eased back on the Benefiber to the point that now we may give it to her a few times a year, if we are going on vacation or something just for our peace of mind. We have also given it to my son when ever it seems he is beyond a day between bm. We have never had a problem, but we do not want to go through that with him like we did with her.

Sorry this is so long, but I know when we had this problem I would have loved some advice from someone who had dealt with it.

The pee potty training we tried when she was 2, but when she wet her underwear on accident she was so devastated that we stopped until she was 2 ½, again after an accident or two we decided to wait. At 3 ½ we tried it and she picked it right up and in two days had it mastered and night time too. My son on the other hand refuses to use the toilet and he is 5 – whole different problem. Hope this was helpful.
Jen Singer
Jen Singer
Posts: 73
From: New Jersey
Registered: 7/22/08

Re: "Holding it" for hours!

Jun 4, 2009 12:59 PM

I recommend that you take her to the pediatrician to make sure she's not constipated or that she doesn't have other physical issues. That would be the best place to start.

Jen

--
Jen Singer, Pull-Ups Potty Training Partner
Bodymakeover
 
Bodymakeover
Posts: 2
Registered: 6/3/09

Re: "Holding it" for hours!

Jun 3, 2009 8:25 AM
I'm defiantly going to watch this thread, and hope somebody with "EXPERT" advice come and answers you Grandma.... I have exactly the same problem.... only it started the same age as your little one, BUT, mine just turned 10 and still do it..... I really hope you find an answer.... My little girl is a straight 'A' student, very popular in school, a title roll model, and absolutely beautiful... We took her to Children's Hospital about 3 years ago, because she had infection constantly.... Nothing found wrong, except for bad constipation and very deep sleep... I tried everything for her during the day - not to "hold" it.... I'm now to the point that I'm giving up on her,....and hope that nature would straighten her out.... She still sleeps with Pull Ups - and sleep incredibly deep - even the beepers by her ear that is suppose to wake her up, or an alarm, don't wake her up.... Hope you can find a way to stop your little one from doing this.... and hope somebody come and answer us....
Grandma3
 
Grandma3
Posts: 1
Registered: 6/1/09

"Holding it" for hours!

Jun 1, 2009 9:17 AM
We're worried about bladder infection and possible constipation. Our 2 1/2 year old knows how to use the potty, but does not want to. She has excellent bladder and bm control, has had since about 18 months old. We started using Pull-ups about 3 months ago, hoping that the switch to "big girl" pull-ups would encourage her to use the potty. No. She would hold it until impossible any longer, then hide and "do her business" in private. Switched to underpants 3 weeks ago and resistance is even greater. She doesn't want to wet or soil her lovely underwear, so "holds it" for hours - as much as 18 hours! We know the signs - crotch clutching, crossed legs, the "desperation dance", but when she sits on the potty, she can't or won't relax those muscles. Rewards, reassurance etc. don't seem to help. What can we do?