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4 year old trained no longer trained when new baby arrives
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Expert Potty Training Advice
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4 year old trained no longer trained when new baby arrives

[Replies: 2]
Last Post Aug 22, 2008 6:28 AM by: Jen Singer
Jen Singer
Jen Singer
Posts: 73
From: New Jersey
Registered: 7/22/08

Re: 4 year old trained no longer trained when new baby arrives

Aug 22, 2008 6:28 AM

It's common for kids to regress when a baby joins the family. Sometimes it's because kids see all the attention the baby is getting, and so they figure if they act like a baby, they'll get attention, too. Other times, it's simply a reaction to a stressful situation, such as moving or starting a new school.

Try to make time with your older child -- time alone without the baby. Emphasize to your child that this is special "big kid" time to do things that the baby is too little to do. When relatives visit, make sure they greet your child first before the baby, and ask them to give your child a special gift or treat for being the big sister.

Don't punish your child for her accidents, but do have her help you clean it up. Eventually, she'll get over this hurdle -- and you will, too.

--
Jen Singer, Pull-Ups Potty Training Partner
trinadragonmomof2
 
trinadragonmomof2
Posts: 3
Registered: 8/3/08

Re: 4 year old trained no longer trained when new baby arrives

Aug 3, 2008 10:29 PM
I know exactly how it is since I just gave birth 5 days ago to my second baby daughter. I also have a 4 year old and she was fully potty trained and scheduled to start school in september. Here is how I deal with it... one step at a time. I try to get my daughter to help with the baby so that she does not feel left out and include her in as much of taking care of baby sister as possible. I also remind her that she is a big girl and big sister now and she needs to help us teach baby sister. She tells me when she has to go potty and what really got her potty trained was a blank paper that we filled with star stickers whenever she went potty. The funny thing about it all is that we tried everything that is suggested on this site but it only worked for a little while so I was getting frustrated. I just know that one day she decided to go all by herself and has been going ever since with a few accidents along the way but she is dry all night. I guess what I am trying to say is patience is the key. Your older one might feel that she is being replaced with a new baby when it is not the case so she feels that if she acts like a baby she will get some of the attention baby sister gets. I am in the same situation and no matter how much you explain it to them they are not mature enough to really grasp it so they still have some fear of being replaced. I just take it one day at a time with each accident being dealt with accordingly and I always ask why they had an accident hoping she can tell me why so that I can reassure her that I am not replacing her and that I love her just as much as baby sister. I am even thinking of getting a t-shirt that is personalized saying official big sister with the picture of her sister on it so that she feels important and that baby really belongs to her especially. She specifically told me that she wanted a baby sister and I felt we were blessed when she got one but she wasnt prepared for the feelings of being replaced and not being loved. I also try to take some time even if it is only for a few minutes with just my older daughter one on one. When we go shopping alot of people want to see the baby so I make it a point to tell them that big sister and baby sister look alike and pointedly get them to talk to big sister so that she feels included and noticed in the conversation. I also try to buy something for big sister if I buy stuff for the baby or I have the big sister help to pick it out and especially I have big sister help me to pick out what baby sister will wear for the day. I think that by including her and asking her opinion she wont feel that I dont love her or value her opinion as much than if I went and did everything not once asking if she wanted to contribute. I am exhausted and I want to sleep but my older child deserves special recognition once in a while. We have a store here that is called Dollar Tree that sells ribbons for various things and I am going to go and get one that says BIG SISTER. I think that it also helps that I share with my older daughter pictures of when she was little and tell her that sissy looks exactly like her and they are both beautiful.
I hope some of my rambling helps. All that matters is that you love them both and they know it. Your older one may need reassurance and that dont mean anything about your parenting skills it just means that she is immature in some ways that all children are. I sometimes forget that my four year old is only 4 because of some of the things that come out of her mouth that sound too adult for a 4 year old.
roxanna
 
roxanna
Posts: 1
Registered: 6/17/08

4 year old trained no longer trained when new baby arrives

Jun 17, 2008 2:05 PM
I recently had my 4 year old daugther potty trained and then we brought home a new baby sister. since new baby has been born we have had problems with her pottying her pants all the time. don't know what to do