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Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important
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Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important

[Replies: 3]
Last Post Sep 17, 2008 7:44 AM by: Jen Singer
Jen Singer
Jen Singer
Posts: 16
From: New Jersey
Registered: 7/22/08

Re: Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important

Sep 17, 2008 7:44 AM

Ah, husband training. I'm sure this is frustrating, but look at it from your husband's point of view: He's not sure how to do this whole potty training thing, and so it's easier to ignore it than to set himself up to fail. And if you usually criticize him if he doesn't do something the way you'd like, well...

I'd tell your husband that you can't potty train all by yourself and you need his help. Then give him the tools to be a part of the potty training team. There's great information right here on this site to help catch him up to speed.

Together, you then map out a plan for potty training that works for both of you and your toddler. If Hubby feels he's part of the planning, he's more likely to help out.

This is important: If he makes mistakes along the way, let it go. Even grown-ups need positive reinforcement!

Go Team!

Jen Singer

--
Jen Singer, Pull-Ups Potty Training Partner
Ethan's Mommy
 
Ethan's Mommy
Posts: 4
Registered: 9/9/08

Re: Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important

Sep 12, 2008 11:38 AM
I have the same problem. My son is almost 18 months and although he doesn't talk either, we sign with him. he knows almost 30 signs now and is really good at letting you know what he wants. Sometimes it's a hassle to drag him away from the toys when you know he has to go but for the most part he does really good. We go about every hour, and on the 1/2 hour if he didn't do anything before. That is when I am home.
When my Hubby is home and I try to enlist Daddy's help (every little boy wants to be like Daddy and my son idolizes him.) Hubby takes to long to get up and take him he's usually gone in his pants by the time he gets to taking him to the potty. When he goes on his schedule he does great and stays dry most of the day. There are a few accidents, we are still training afterall. I don't expect him to get it overnight.
I talked to Hubby about why he was dragging his feet and he said he was tired of spending all his time in the bathroom and doesn't understand why he has to go so much. He was really hesitant to even start the process and just wants to wait until he's older thinking it will be easier. Well, it's gonna be the same routine no matter how old he is. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. He said he didn't know how or what to do for potty training and felt really uncomfortable sitting in the bathroom next to his naked little boy. (changing diapers makes him feel the same way. Really uncomfortable. Any suggestions on how to help? It's his own son not someone else's kids...) I told him it was ok and this was just a part of the parenting process and to be positive. He has done a little better. I still have to drag the two of them inside to go potty but the attitude adjustment has really helped.
Other than that I'm not sure what to do either. I feel like I'm in the same boat. Anyone have any advice? How do I get Hubby to understand the potty thing?
Dr. Jennifer Shu
 
Dr. Jennifer Shu
Posts: 17
Registered: 8/19/08

Re: Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important

Aug 25, 2008 10:03 AM
Husbands and other caregivers won't find potty routines important unless they have to deal with changing diapers or clean up messes that happen during their "watch." If someone else is watching the children, they can choose how they want to deal with the potty (try to train or just change diapers) and you can do it your way when you're watching them. This is true for many parts of parenting such as sleep times, feeding, etc. As long as nothing is harmful for a child, my feeling is that it should be up to whoever's watching them at the time to decide how they deal with a parenting issue. This can be hard to do if you feel strongly about a particular way of doing something, especially if you're right in the next room, but unless you want to do all the training yourself, it will be helpful to let other people do things their way when they're in charge and you're busy. It may take your children a little longer to train this way since it's less consistent but they will both train eventually no matter what.

Taking your children to the potty every half hour may be too frequent for other people to do, especially if they don't think it is worth the trouble; you might want to talk with your husband and agree on a different amount of time, such as every hour or hour and a half, and he may be more willing to help train.

Good luck!
treblerose
 
treblerose
Posts: 4
Registered: 8/21/08

Dad doesn't understand potty routine is important

Aug 21, 2008 3:24 PM
I have 2 potty training toddlers, my 18m old daughter, and my 2 1/2 yr old son. My daughter potty trained herself when she saw my son going, and though she doesn't talk, she lets us know when she needs to go most of the time. However my son is still having issues during playtime, her gets to 'busy' and doesn't want to go. I take them both every half hour regardless of whether he wants to or not (she always wants to go) But when my husband is watching them, he doesn't take them practically at all. I have tried everything I can think of to tell him how important this is, but he doesn't listen. If we are both home and I ask him to take one he makes a big deal of it, and it takes him over 5 minutes to get up and take them, so I usually wind up doing it myself, when usually I'm busy and thats why I asked him in the first place. any Husband training suggestions??